Keeping both parents in the picture this Christmas

An issue that we often come across as family lawyers dealing with child arrangements is how a child’s school handles the separation. We regularly hear complaints from one parent who feels the school has “sided” with the other parent and is cutting them out of their child’s education as a result.

What should be happening?

Parental Responsibility (PR) encompasses all the rights and responsibilities involved in raising a child. PR includes, among other things, the right to be involved in and make decisions about a child’s education. Everyone who has PR holds it equally; it is not based on how often the child spends time with each parent. For example, if the child lives with one parent most of the time (Parent A) and spends time with the other parent (Parent B) for one night midweek and every other weekend, Parent B—if they have PR—still has rights and responsibilities equal to those of Parent A.

Many parents seem to have a misconception that being the “primary carer” gives them more rights than anyone else with PR, but that is not the case. Not all parents have PR, but they may still have the right to be involved in their child’s education.

Under private family law, the only way someone’s PR can be curtailed is by way of a Prohibited Steps Order. If there is a genuine safeguarding reason why one parent should not be involved in the child’s education, or certain aspects of it, then the parent with concerns should take the appropriate steps to obtain a Prohibited Steps Order, which the school can then be made aware of.

Practical steps schools can take to treat parents equally

Unless such an order is in place, or unless there is a reason under public law (where social services are involved), schools should follow the Government guidance, which states that parents should be treated equally “School and local authority staff must treat all parents equally, unless a court order limits a parent’s ability to make educational decisions, participate in school life or receive information about their child” - Understanding and dealing with issues relating to parental responsibility - GOV.UK.

Under my interpretation of this, it means that if one parent is invited to parents’ evening, the other should be too; if one parent is sent a letter or information, the other should receive it as well; if there is an issue at school, both parents should be informed and consulted. Neither parent should be allowed to make decisions about the other parent’s involvement unless there is an order in place enabling them to do so.

This may mean that schools have some logistical challenges to address—for example, if one parent refuses to be in the same room as the other, separate meetings may be necessary. However, the solution is not to exclude the other parent without a legal reason to do so.

In summary, schools have a duty to treat parents equally, regardless of living arrangements, unless there is a legal order restricting involvement. Clear communication and adherence to government guidance can prevent misunderstandings and ensure that both parents remain engaged in their child’s education. Where safeguarding concerns exist, the correct legal steps—such as obtaining a Prohibited Steps Order—should be taken rather than unilateral decisions by the school or one parent.