Amicable separation and beyond: Can former spouses remain friends?
"No fault divorce"
Divorce has a reputation for being stressful, confrontational, and emotionally draining. However, in England and Wales, things are changing. Since the introduction of “no fault divorce” in April 2022, separating couples no longer have to blame each other for the breakdown of the marriage. This has made it easier for many people to approach divorce in a calmer, more constructive way.
So, is it really possible to have an amicable divorce, and even remain friends afterwards?
A more positive approach to divorce
The current law allows couples to confirm that their marriage has broken down without pointing fingers. This removes a lot of the tension that used to arise from listing faults such as behaviour or adultery.
As a result, many couples are now able to focus on practical matters, like finances and arrangements for children, rather than revisiting past issues. Some even choose to make a joint application, which sets a cooperative tone from the beginning.
Get in touch
What does “amicable” really mean?
An amicable divorce does not mean everything is easy or that there are no disagreements. It simply means both people are willing to deal with things respectfully.
This might involve:
Keeping communication calm and honest
Being willing to compromise
Avoiding unnecessary court proceedings
Focusing on what is best for any children
Many couples find that using mediation or working collaboratively with solicitors helps keep matters on track and reduces stress (and cost).
Can you actually stay friends?
For some couples, the answer is yes, but it depends on the circumstances. Friendship after divorce does not happen overnight, and it may not look like a traditional friendship. Often, it is more about mutual respect and being able to communicate without conflict.
Where children are involved, staying on good terms can be especially important. In the early years after separation, this helps with co parenting. But the benefits often extend much further into the future.
Looking ahead: children and life milestones
Children do not stay children forever. As they grow up, there may be significant life events, such as graduations, weddings, and possibly grandchildren. These are moments when both parents are likely to be present, often in the same room.
When former spouses have maintained a respectful and cooperative relationship, these occasions can be happy and relaxed. Parents can share in their child’s milestones without tension, making the experience far more enjoyable for everyone involved.
On the other hand, ongoing conflict can have a lasting emotional impact. Some adult children feel anxious about how their parents will behave at important events. It is not uncommon for people to worry that their wedding day, for example, could be overshadowed by hostility between their parents. In some situations, this concern can even affect decisions about whether to hold celebrations at all.
Taking steps to keep things amicable after divorce can help avoid this and create a more positive future for the whole family.
When it may be more difficult
Of course, not every situation allows for an amicable approach. Issues such as lack of trust, unresolved emotions, or complex financial matters can make things more challenging. Sometimes, people are simply at different stages in processing the separation.
Even so, reducing conflict where possible can still make a meaningful difference.
A practical way forward
An amicable divorce is not about pretending everything is fine. It is about choosing a constructive path forward. While not every couple will become friends, many can develop a respectful and cooperative relationship over time.
In doing so, they not only make the divorce process itself easier, but also lay the foundation for more positive family experiences in the years ahead.
How we can help
The Family Team at Freeths specialises in all aspects of relationship breakdown and understands that every situation is different. Whether you are hoping to keep matters amicable, require support with negotiations, or need clear legal guidance through more complex issues, we can help you navigate the process with confidence and sensitivity.
If you would like to discuss your situation, please contact Danielle Lang today for a confidential consultation at danielle.lang@freeths.co.uk or by telephone on 0186 578 1031.
The content of this page is a summary of the law in force at the date of publication and is not exhaustive, nor does it contain definitive advice. Specialist legal advice should be sought in relation to any queries that may arise.
Contact us today
Whatever your legal needs, our wide ranging expertise is here to support you and your business, so let’s start your legal journey today and get you in touch with the right lawyer to get you started.
Get in touch
For general enquiries, please complete this form and we will direct your message to the most appropriate person.