When is it a good time to divorce? It is never a good time!

As the festive decorations come down and the reality of the New Year sets in, family lawyers around the country brace for what the media has dubbed "Divorce Day" - the first working Monday in January.

The consensus within legal circles is often shared with a wry smile: "When is it a good time to divorce? It is never a good time!" Yet, the influx of calls and emails we receive each January confirms a persistent pattern in family law.

So why does the turn of the year prompt so many people to finally seek legal advice? There are a few common reasons:

• Waiting until after Christmas: For many struggling couples, the desire to maintain a semblance of normality for children or extended family over the holidays is a powerful motivator to delay difficult conversations. They simply wait until January to begin divorce
• Festive strain: The combination of financial pressure, intense family time, and the general stress of the holiday season can bring pre-existing marital issues to a breaking point
• The "fresh start" mentality: The New Year is synonymous with resolutions and new beginnings. For some, the resolution is to move forward into a happier chapter of life, even if that means formally ending their marriage

The decision to end a marriage is one of life’s most significant and difficult choices. It is rarely made impulsively on a single Monday in January. It is the culmination of long consideration, heartache, often abuse and careful deliberation. It sounds easier to just put this off to another day, right?

The cost of waiting: Why delaying a necessary divorce can hurt you

It’s easy to simply put it off and ‘bury your head in the sand,’ but this inertia can be costly. When couples stay in an unworkable marriage, an unpleasant atmosphere often festers. This almost inevitably leads to increasing acrimony, making a future amicable separation much harder to achieve. This ongoing conflict has a profoundly negative impact on both spouses and the children, who are highly perceptive to tensions within the home.

Living in limbo – or enduring emotional abuse – only compounds the difficulty when you eventually decide to proceed.

Financial and strategic risks

Delay can give a motivated spouse time to plan their exit, especially if you are not aware they are intending to divorce. It allows for the potential manoeuvre and concealment of assets, or the accumulation of debt that may later be considered part of the marital pot. Early advice and strategic planning are crucial to protecting your financial position. I explored this further in a previous article.

The benefit of getting early advice

After 24 years in family law, my experience is clear: if reconciliation isn’t possible, it’s almost always better to act sooner rather than later. A well-managed divorce doesn’t have to be expensive, drawn-out, or combative.

By embracing alternatives such as mediation, negotiation, and other forms of Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR), you can manage the separation efficiently and minimize conflict and costs.