Introduction
All divorces – even the most amicable – will inevitably come with some difficult emotions; anger, sadness, stress and uncertainty about the future. However, the role that family lawyers play when advising divorcing couples can influence the extent to which emotions are either heightened or kept in check (which in turn can have a significant impact on the negotiations / proceedings that follow).
Resolution is a national community of family justice professionals who are committed to helping families resolve disputes in a constructive and amicable way. Family lawyers who are members of Resolution are required to adhere to a Code of Practice when advising separating couples.
Every year, Resolution runs a “Good Divorce Week” campaign with a different focus. In 2025, the focus of Good Divorce Week is on the Code of Practice and why it is important. The Code of Practice requires Resolution members to do the following:
- Reduce and manage conflict and confrontation; for example, by not using inflammatory language.
- Support and encourage families to put the best interests of any children first.
- Act with honesty, integrity and objectivity.
- Help clients understand and manage the potential long-term financial and emotional consequences of decisions.
- Listen to and treat everyone with respect and without judgement.
- Use experience and knowledge to guide clients through the options available to them.
- Continually develop knowledge and skills.
- Use the Resolution “Guides to Good Practice” in day-to-day work.
It would be easy to think that a good divorce lawyer is someone who will “go to war” or “fight every case tooth and nail”. However, the Resolution Code of Conduct encourages family lawyers to take a step back and consider the impact that an aggressive and litigious approach can have for clients in the long-term.
Divorcing clients are often emotionally vulnerable. Is it helpful for them to have a divorce lawyer who will act as an echo-chamber, validating their feelings and encouraging them to act upon them? Or is it more helpful for them to have a divorce lawyer who provides measured and non-emotive advice, focusing on facts, figures and practical next steps?
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What is the best outcome for divorce clients?
Ultimately, the best outcome for divorce clients is to resolve their disputes as swiftly as possible and with limited exposure to legal costs. If a combative approach is taken from the outset, that is very likely to derail negotiations. Battle lines are drawn, and the prospect of compromising any issue can start to look increasingly remote.
A divorce client may have an initial sense of satisfaction if their lawyer sends a well worded letter to their former spouse which is steeped in aggression and criticisms. That might feel like good representation – a lawyer who is “fighting their corner”. However, that sense of satisfaction is short-lived if the response is similarly aggressive and critical. A flurry of aggressive letters which are exchanged in a whirlwind of intense emotions can quickly spiral into all forms of family court proceedings being issued – financial proceedings, Children Act proceedings and injunction applications.
Family court litigation often comes at considerable financial and emotional cost. The family court system is under-resourced and over-burdened. It can take more than a year for financial proceedings / Children Act proceedings to be finalised. Each form of proceedings is likely to require attendance at multiple court hearings. Full legal representation throughout proceedings is expensive, and the outcome can never be guaranteed. This means that litigants are exposed to high legal costs, stress and uncertainty. Many will end up feeling entrenched and unable / unwilling to compromise because they feel they have “come too far”.
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Expensive litigation can eat into the “pot” of assets that is often the focus of dispute for divorcing couples. Lengthy and bitter court proceedings also have long-lasting emotional consequences. Divorcing couples with children will continue to have contact with one another for many years to come; the heightened acrimony that naturally follows a hard-fought legal battle often prevents separated parents from co-parenting effectively and exposes children to emotional harm.
Of course, family court proceedings have a place and purpose. Sometimes, divorcing couples are simply not able to agree matters without the input of a judge. The court process exists for a reason, and it is entirely right that divorcing couples should have lawyers who will act in their best interests if proceedings are issued. However, the Code of Practice serves as a reminder that a litigious approach should be avoided in the interests of settling matters swiftly, minimising costs and giving both parties a more positive foundation from which they can move forward.
Please get in touch with Antonia Williamson or another member of of expert family law team, they will be able to assist with all queries and questions regarding divorce.
The content of this page is a summary of the law in force at the date of publication and is not exhaustive, nor does it contain definitive advice. Specialist legal advice should be sought in relation to any queries that may arise.
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