What can we learn from Mrs. Doubtfire?

Recently, I had the pleasure of re watching a childhood favourite film of mine, Mrs. Doubtfire, and I must say, watching this film as a Family Law Practitioner offered a whole new insight into the film!  

For those who have not seen this 1993 Robin Williams film (or the West-End Production), in summary, following a divorce, the father disguises himself as a nanny to his children so he can spend time with them, following an interim contact order being granted which provided him with limited time with his children. Whilst I do not intend to comment upon the judicial decisions within the film nor the jurisdiction in which the film is set, it is interesting to consider how the Courts in England and Wales would approach such issues and I hope the law has moved on since this film was set. 

This film shows the difficulties parents can experience in spending time with their children and agreeing important decisions for the children, upon separation. Whilst impersonating a nanny is definitely not my advice, the father’s actions in this film demonstrates the lengths some parents may feel they must go to, to tackle the barriers in front of them.  

If you are facing difficulties with your child or children’s other parent, you may consider the following:-

Dos and Don’ts 

• First and foremost, put the children’s best interests first.
  
  Following a separation, there will often be struggles within the relationship of the separating parents.  It is important to keep those feelings and views separate to what may be in the best interests of the children to allow both parents to have a meaningful relationship with their children.
  
  You should be cautious of the language being used around the children and avoid making derogatory comments about the other parent in front of them.
  
  
• Do not expose the children to parental conflict.
  
  Within the film, the parents can be seen arguing in close distance to the children, in which the children can be seen crying on the staircase.  It is so important that children are shielded from such conflict. 
  
  
• Consider if there are any genuine safeguarding or wellbeing concerns that need to be explored to ensure their time with the other parent is safe for the children.
  
  If there are any concerns which risk the children being placed at risk of harm, it is worth considering what measures (if any) can be put in place to manage those risks.  Of course, in some circumstances, it may not be safe for children to have direct contact with a parent.
  
  
• Try to work amicably together to reach an agreement as to the arrangements for the children directly or via a third-party (if it is not safe for you to discuss arrangements directly between you). 
  
  
• Do not unreasonably withhold contact between the children and the other parent and do not purposively exclude them from important decisions such as their health or education. 

Lastly… 

•    Do not impersonate a nanny to spend time with your children!